six more weeks.

I've been ready to come home for a while now. The thought of leaving Gracias is bittersweet, but for the most part it is a relieving thought.

The truth about my time at Abundant Life Christian School is summed up in frustration and disappointment. That is, outside my classroom. My kids have been amazing, and I'm so grateful to have spent this past year with them, and I'm going to miss them so much it already hurts. What I speak of is the school itself. My intention in expressing my disappointment and frustration is not to publicly berate ALCS (I'll save that for my personal journal.) but to be honest in my experience.

I think I can justifiably say that Abundant Life does not like me. I have felt singled out by my principal this entire year. There was a point where he was calling me into his office weekly for about six weeks to inform me of everything I was doing wrong in my job, even though I often assured him that many of the things he was asking of me, I was already doing. Sometimes I would walk out of our meetings with tears streaming down my face. It turns out he makes up rules (pointless and sometimes ridiculous rules, I should say) on the spot and leaves little room for suggestions and negotiations.

The school and the organization that it comes out of are nothing like I expected them to be. They bear the name Christian, but business and pleasing their clients (the parents) are their priorities. They put on flashy events, portray excellence, and ask us to give the students high marks so that the parents "understand." And when they ask us to work overtime with no extra pay, they remind us that what we're doing is a ministry and a service to God. "God will reward you" - I think that's one of my boss's favorite things to repeat. It might also be worth mentioning that the founder of the church and the school has his named graffitied across the wall of Gracias' cemetery in a statement that claims he has already secured his place in hell.

This year has been amazing and challenging. But it has been hard. Now, understand something please. A hard year for me is probably not considered hard on the grand scale of things. I had been lucky enough in my 23 years prior to moving to Honduras never to grieve the loss of a loved one or experience true hardship. So it was difficult when my grandfather passed away in October. Shortly thereafter I received the news that my cousin, who is also one of my best friends, had experienced congestive heart failure (I'm still praising God that she received a new heart not even a couple weeks ago.).

So with the combination of opposition from work, tragedy back home in the States, and myriad other things (i.e. lack of a church family and a church to attend, repeat sickness including pneumonia and bronchitis and what seemed to be a perpetual cold, and missing my dear friends), that's why I say this year has been harder than others.